I wanna go back to that time during this pregnancy when I was neurotic for no good reason. When I worried incessantly without due cause. Back when I would cop a feel during the day and realize my boobs weren't at all tender and nearly start crying...even though we had a perfect ultrasound the day before. In a nutshell, I want to go back to being crazy. Just your average infertile with a history of pregnancy loss trying to make her way through the first trimester, crazy.
Because really having something to worry about sucks. It sucks a lot more than just being crazy. Because, FYI, crazy doesn't go away - it just compounds with actual, validated fears to make you one big crazy, scared, bitchy mess.
So the spotting didn't stop. We accomplished a record last week of 3 appointments (if you count the ER as an appointment, which, in this case I am) within 6 days. We were given an explanation for the spotting that thankfully isn't harming Viver or the pregnancy in any way, but it is still incredibly unnerving to spot this consistently for a week and a half now. I now have the honor of sporting a cervical polyp, likely throughout the pregnancy unless it decides to go away on its own. It's basically a benign growth and lucky me, it bleeds. I was in a kind mood and didn't include a picture of one. I stumbled across one on the internet and it was very disturbing. Almost as disturbing as the two doctors that diagnosed me with it offering to show Chris and I what it looked like. No thank you. He's just here for the moral support and ultrasound folks, no need to send him down to that side of the exam table.
Pretty much the polyp just means I'll probably spot for the rest of the pregnancy, and I am on pelvic rest indefinitely. Beyond the obvious things that can't be done on pelvic rest, I've decided the following should be included:
- Grocery shopping
- Cleaning, especially the bathroom